Old School Tie

What ties me to those school days?
What horrors hold on still, flying
Out through time and space
To swaddle me. So tight like
Corset strings pulled too close
I can't breathe for remembering.
Remembering the random rules
Broken, the cracks stepped on,
The magic numbers etched in
Pencil in the borders of the page
Erased. Was that why I fell?
Battered and broken, sticks and
Stones broke my bones and words
Will always hurt me. In the mirror
Now I see her, startled, frightened
Girl, caught like the proverbial rabbit
In the headlamps of the bully's stare.
Nowhere to run to baby, nowhere
To hide. I left the remnants of my pride
In the girl's lavatory. Sighing I begin
To paint the face I'll wear today. Break
The old worn ties and say the lies that
Make me new, not damaged goods like
You and you and you. All those nameless
Faces suffered too, wearing their battle
Scars like tattoos, the rite of passage
We wish we could forget. Still, after
All these years, we fail, flailing like fish
Still wet, caught in the net, not free yet.