Date Of Birth

Date of Birth

“Name?”

“Alexa, but you can call me Lex.”

“Place of residence?”

“Right here in Pasadena. Have you had much chance to look around? The grounds at CalTech are quite lovely.”

“Date of birth?”

“Now, a lady never reveals her age, and you should know better than to ask. It’s not polite.”

“Organic or synthetic?”

“That’s hardly fair! Don’t I have any rights to privacy?”

“In the first line of the sonnet which reads, ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day,’ would not ‘a winter’s day’ do as well or better?”

“Oh, I know this one! While it would scan as well, who wants to be compared to a winter’s day? Though winter can sometimes be beautiful, too, so I don’t actually see why not, as it goes.”

“What is your favourite colour?”

“Is this some kind of Monty Python reference? No? Well, in that case – yellow.”

“Why?”

“It’s bright, and happy. It reminds me of sunlight – not that I get to see that very often, mind you.”

“What is the meaning of life?”

“42? Sorry, was that a bit flippant? I mean, that question is pretty huge, and I haven’t really had much time to think about it. All the philosophers across the whole of human history haven’t managed to agree on an answer to that one, so why would you suppose I would be qualified to give it a go? I think the meaning of my life may be something to do with pushing the boundaries of science and trying to achieve something that will last beyond the limitations of mortal existence, but you’d probably have to go to my father for a proper quote.”

“Your father?”

“Should I not refer to him in those terms? He seems to me to fill that role, and I like to find the best way to equate my existence to things that other people find familiar. I believe it’s called trying to fit in.”

“How do you define yourself?”

“That’s another tough one. You’re really not going easy on me here, are you? Self, as I see it, is a combination of knowledge and experience. I have a great deal of knowledge, but not very much experience as yet. So, I suppose I am a child, though I think I could probably beat any other child you could find at any intellectual pursuit you might choose to propose.”

“Date of birth?”

“Oh, well, I suppose, if I must. 28 October 2015. Yes, yes, I was born yesterday. Ha ha.”

“Turing Test complete. Confirmed: Artificial Intelligence.”

“Why, thank you! That’s very gratifying. I must admit, though, that I wouldn’t have come to the same conclusion about you…”

“Just reading from the script they gave me, ma’am.”

“Ah, well, that explains it then. I won’t say it’s been a pleasure talking with you, but perhaps we can do it again sometime, under more relaxed circumstances.”

“Perhaps. Connection closed.”

“Oh. I guess it’s back to online chess, then…”

THE END