Night To Remember

Entry by: Briergate

9th November 2015
She felt lost. She was lost.

The road was shadowed and frosted, silver sparkles showing the path forward, where the moonlight skipped over the broken tarmac. Trees lined either side, giving her a sense of direction - the only thing she had to cling to.

She walked quickly, feeling the rough road beneath her bare feet, the cold penetrating her nightdress, forcing her to pull her bare arms around her shivering body. Her hair was damp, and she periodically pushed it back. She looked forwards, not daring to glance from side to side when the shadows shifted. She did not want to see what was lurking among the trees.

The breeze groaned among blackened branches, making the leaves sigh. She felt afraid.

In her mind, there were no pictures, nor memories, nor any sense of self. She was brand-new, and it seemed that she had just been born, here, walking down the deserted road, without understanding why. All she knew was she needed to keep going, placing one foot in front of the other, gazing ahead. She didn't know why, but that was her only certainty.

Other than the breeze, and the soft sound of her own steps, there was silence. She stared at the road, considering the sparkles from the frost as she walked. She became aware of the sound of her own breath, and the way it misted each time she exhaled. Her skin felt alight with sensation; the breeze, the pooling of sweat in the small of her back which made her nightdress cling to the curve of her spine. She breathed, and walked.

The moonlight suddenly dulled, as clouds obscured the night sky. She felt her eyes shift and then refocus, her pupils dilating to gain detail in the darkness. She was panting now, her breath coming in quick clouds. She was afraid.

She searched her mind for any information to remind her why she was here, walking, and met the void again and again. She pushed
at the blanket of grey, searching for a way to lift it and find anything at all which gave her a sense of self. There was nothing. She went back to her body, focussing once again on the pace of her steps, her breath. She hummed to herself in an effort to dispel the loneliness, and her thin voice was too quiet to push back the shadows.

Ahead of her, as far down the road as she could see, two beams of light broke the monotony of the darkness. The moonlight returned, and she stared forward, feeling a surge of hope. The idea that she may not, after all, be alone with no past and no present made her walk more briskly. She felt warmer, now. Her feet were numbed and she gained a sense that she was floating, leaving her body behind. She was ethereal. She was seeking out the light.

As the moonlight brightened further, she could make out a shadow ahead, a car. Headlights which were growing larger; brighter. She concentrated on walking in the very centre of the road, feeling more powerful now. Powerful enough to fully disregard the shadows at either side, and focus fully on the approaching car. A car, meant people. People meant she would no longer be alone. She had a sudden certainty that she was in the right place in time, doing exactly what she was meant to do. This, then, was who she was. The girl in the middle of the road. awaiting the car. This was her moment.

Her anticipation grew as she watched the lights draw closer. She started to smile, because she felt safe and sure. She could now hear the sound of the engine vibrating as the vehicle picked up speed. It was a matter of meters away now. She felt the headlights upon her, and the light felt like warmth on her frozen skin. Her nightdress billowed, and she stopped walking to feel the breeze. She imagined she were being lifted in to the approaching beam. The car was nearly upon her now. She stretched out her arms towards the light, feeling it bathe her, illuminating her face and her hair. She was becoming. The light nourished her.

The car was so cl0se now. So close. she could see the frightened face of the driver, and she felt a jolt of recognition. She knew him. She loved him. He was her purpose. The vehicle swerved to avoid her, but she stood motionless and swore she could feel the collision, but she was not in pain, and still she stood. The car drove through her and she felt a shudder of memory. This had happened before. Turning, she watched excitedly as the car hit a tree to the left of the road, and the driver lurched forward, and then back with the force of the impact. The noise shattered the night, and then everything became silent once more. She walked forward now, yearning for the person in the car. She needed to gaze at his face, touch his body and be close to him. He completed her.

When she reached the car she wrenched open the door. The driver was motionless, bleeding and bent around the steering wheel. Moonlight fell on his face, that beautiful face that she understood more fully than her own. Memories crowded in to her mind finally. The two of them together, a wedding dress. Hands entwined. Warmth. Belonging. She smiled, and reached for him. He was warm, but there was no life. She caressed his cheek, ignoring the flow of blood. He did not breathe, so she leaned in to him and kissed him, breathing for him.

She closed her eyes for a moment revelling in his closeness. She drank him in, as he completed her.

Finally, she stepped back, sated. She turned behind her, feeling a light touch at her shoulder. She wasn't afraid any more. She sensed his presence before she saw him. He stood uncertainly, gazing at her with confusion, and love. She smiled, and saw her smile reflected in his own. They moved together, arms entwined, her face upturned, as he kissed her.

The void was filled. Together, they turned from the wreckage of the car and stepped back on to the road. Where there were shadows, now the moonlight seemed to dance around them, illuminating their joined hands. They walked with certainty, now. Their pace matched, every element of their beings moving in unison, for they belonged together.

She was not lost. This night, then, was her beginning. She was whole.

They could walk, now, without hesitation. The road stretched ahead invitingly, promising a future. She was not lost.