Who Are You?

Entry by: cecrouch

1st December 2014

Who Am I? At 86, I am an old man living somewhere in time with my wife of 65 years enjoying the adventures which life offers. In nature, forms change but do not disappear: water becomes vapor, vapor forms clouds, and clouds offer rain which replenishes the earth to start that cycle again. In this, there seems the certainty of another life, another place, another time as expressed in this poem written for my wife a few years ago.

Somewhere in time, I wonder
...a dream or reality?

Though years have passed and
so many memories dim,
it is there I still see your
flashing dark eyes, smiling lips.

We fashioned dreams together,
our future bright and lasting.

We were young and together,
and time was without meaning.

Our time would last forever
and nothing could interfere.

But it vanished...disappeared
and age has taken its place.

How can we know we were there
as memories dim and fade?

Youth has gone away from us
but somewhere, some place, it lives.

One day we'll surely return,
to that time so long ago,
and recover that moment
when we were so very young.

Wiser now, but back again
to where time has no meaning.

We are together again
in the place our dreams began

Somewhere in time!

Marker 1

What I liked about this piece: I like the directness with which the poet follows through his vision of a place out of (or in?) time, where youth and vitality are recaptured eternally.
Favourite sentence: We were young and together,
and time was without meaning.
Feedback: Perhaps the writer could think about introducing some imagery into his poetic style, to add colour and vividness.

Marker 2

What I liked about this piece: It's simple language used really powerfully to convey a truth which dawns on all of us if we live to old age
Favourite sentence: 'We were young and together,
and time was without meaning.'
Feedback: What a beautiful and sad/happy nostalgic poem. Time is the one thing we can't get away from, and when you are young everyone tells you how quickly it goes - this poem conveys that beautifully. I feel the love between the author and his wife, and their wistfulness for their youthful, carefree times

Marker 3

What I liked about this piece: The fact you wrote it for your wife
Favourite sentence: 'In nature, forms change but do not disappear: water becomes vapor, vapor forms clouds, and clouds offer rain which replenishes the earth to start that cycle again.'
Feedback: Beautiful, nostalgic, ephemeral poem which captures the way our consciousness relates to our moments on this planet. Well done, genuinely moving.