Name Of Love

Entry by: Freya

11th February 2016

Love, thy name isâ€¦Friday

I await you, my beloved.
Six days do us part.
But then you return as certain as an autumn tempest flooding the south.
Punctual to the tick since a wise man thought of counting the time.
I wiggle my toe, sinking into softness.
I yawn and stretch, creasing the sheets.
My boy next to me, stirring in his dream.
I count my blessings.
Itâ€™s all â€˜bout the waitinâ€™ for good things to come.
Long sleep on the morrow, rose-petal sweet tea and whipped cream.
Oh Friday night, how I love thee!

Marker 1

What I liked about this piece: Sweet, sincere and simple.
Favourite sentence: Punctual to the tick since a wise man thought of counting the time.
Feedback: I think it needs an injection of innovation/risk somehow - more interesting use of language or punctuation perhaps, to make up for the quite simple concept.

It's a nice read though, and relatable!

Marker 2

What I liked about this piece: The atmosphere, and romanticism
To me, there was a medieval feel to it, ancient and charming. It was was well written, and I love the last line. I enjoyed the combination of cream with romance- works well, and, I think, engages the readers attention. Made me smile
Favourite sentence: Long sleep on the morrow, rose-petal sweet tea and whipped cream.
Feedback: Worth publishing!!
The marks are lower than I would have liked them to be. This is because, I feel the piece was altogether too short. Perhaps I am being unfair, however, I would have liked to have seen more of this. Many Thanks.

Marker 3

What I liked about this piece: The alliteration (e.g. lines 5 & 6) ties the blank verse together very effectively
Favourite sentence: I count my blessings - a very simple thing, one which we can all achieve painlessly
Feedback: The constantly changing rhythm feels very 'natural' and reflects the (slightly) confused pattern of someone just waking up to a new day