In Or Out

The girl considers her reflection in the full-length mirror, frowning slightly. She turns to rummage through the discarded clothing on the bed, causing further disarray before she pounces on her phone. She turns back to the mirror, snaps her picture, and taps out a message. 'D8 with Darren tonite. What U think?'

The message pings off as she tosses the phone down again. She approaches the mirror once more, turning her head from side to side, ensuring there are no visible flaws in the carefully-applied make-up.

Seconds later, the unmistakeable tones of Taylor Swift blare out from the bed and she grabs her phone.

'Hi, Laure_'

'Darren? Darren Fucking Slater?! You have got to be kidding me! You heard what he did last year, din't you? Only went and broke Danni's heart. I told yer about it, din't I? How he went and dumped her just because that slag from the Greenway estate made eyes at him. Of course, she took him back again afterwards, stupid cow, cos he begged her, and then went and did the same bloody thing again. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I wouldn't trust that bastard as far as I could throw him, know what I mean? Darren I'll-fuck-anything-that-moves Slater. What ye doing going on a date with him fer?'

'Lauren! I'm not daft. Not that Darren. Gary's mate, Darren. The one who works in Bates' chippy.'

'Oh, that Darren. Yeah, he's ok. Bit of alright, actually. Wouldn't mind doing him meself. If it don't go well, could you put in a word for us? Don't tell Jimmy I said that though, will ye. He'd get dead jealous. And I was only joking anyway. I wouldn't throw Jimmy over, not even for Ryan Gosling, and ye know I'd do almost anything for him. Whatever, I say 'Go for it, girl!'

'Yeah, thanks. Look_'

'Where ye going, anyway? There's that new place on Clumber Road, and they're doing 2 for 1 on shots every night. Don't overdo it though, sweet. You know what happened on your first date with Martin. Well, I say first date, but of course it was yer last date really. I have never seen a lad leg it as fast as him after you puked all over his swanky new trainers. Good job I was there to look after ye, or ye'd probably still be dying in the gutter. Bloody funny, ye have to admit though..'

'Was not, ye cow! Anyway_'

'Don't want to vom on the job tomorrow either. Ye've landed on your feet there - nothing to do all day but file yer nails and snapchat yer bestie. That's still me, innit? Or am I being replaced by Maaaaah-cia? She sounds like a right barrel of laughs, her. The cheek of her, telling ye to pull your finger out and do some proper work.'

'Lauren, can ye just_'

'Speaking of work, ye'll never guess what Tiff did. They've got a job going in her office, now thingummy has left, and I was going to apply. And ye know what she said? I was like, I could do the job easily and she got all 'you so couldn't'. So I said I got 5 GCSEs which is more qualifications than she ever did, and she was like 'Whatever, at least I never..'

'Yeah, I know, she's a cow, but this is more important. What do you think of the outfit. Is it_'

'Too tarty? Not tarty enough? Ye don't wanna be too obvious, do ye? Jimmy told me that Gary said, Darren's more into classy birds. Ye know, a bit more Victoria Beckham. Though if ye ask me, she always looks a bit stuck up. Ye wouldn't catch her downing the vodka in The Barrel. Nah, Darren will think ye look great, and if he doesn't then he can bloody come and tell me why, cos ye are. Ye're bloody great, you. I don't care what Tiff says.'

'Lauren, for fuck's sake, can ye just listen to me. All I wanted to ask was should I wear this top tucked in? Or out?'