The Secret Party

"Shhh!"

My mother's whisper rushes like a breeze across my bedroom floor. So I slip out silently from the covers. George the rabbit dangles from my fist by a raggedy ear.

She crosses to the wardrobe and pulls out my best dress. It's white and has blue flowers on it. I haven't worn it since Ellie's birthday party when it got covered in chocolate ice cream. But in the moonlight I can see it's clean now.

The window is open and the room is full of summer-night, grass-and-earth air. I can hear a night bird screech far away.

Mum pulls off my pyjamas and pulls the dress over my head.

"I'm not allowed to be up after bedtime. It's a rule," I whisper through the cotton as it muffles my face.

There are a lot of rules. Like saying please and thank you, and not playing with your food, and praying to Jesus, in the name of the father and the son and the holy spirit. If you break a rule you get in trouble.

"That's why we have to be quiet," Mum whispers back. "So not a word till we get outside."

In the car I hold George tight. Real rabbits spring back from the headlights into the hedges by the road. I pray to Jesus that we won't run over one and squash it flat because Mum is driving very fast.

"Where are we going, Mum?"

"Not far."

"Why can't we tell Dad?"

"It's a secret, Katy. You mustn't tell him."

"Alright."

When we get out I know where we are, even though it looks different in the dark. We're at the Perrys' farm, and there are lights shining in the field the other side of the barn, and I can hear voices and a violin playing something happy.

As we crunch across the gravel of the drive I see a shadow ahead of us. A big, tall, grown-up person, looking like a shimmery ghost in the moonlight. I press George against my face. He smells like my own bed. Where I should be right now. My heart beats so it hurts.

"Mum!"

She takes my hand. "Come on, Katy!"

Then I see the shadow person ahead is Matthew. He's my brother, even though he's a grown up. He's wearing a suit and a bow-tie, and his hair looks all neat.

"Why did you bring her, Mum? She'll tell Dad!" He sounds angry.

"She won't. I've told her not to."

"She can't keep a secret."

"I can too, stupid!" I say.

"I didn't want her to miss this, Matthew. This is a big day for you. She should be part of it."

Mum hugs Matthew then, and she says "I'm so happy for you, love. I wish it didn't have to be like this. Your Dad... he still loves you, but it's hard for him."

Then I follow Mum and Matthew into the field.

It's full of shining golden lanterns. It looks like the stars have dropped down onto the ground. There are shiny silver streamers hanging from the hedges and the trees, and they're flapping and shimmering in the breeze like the ripples on a pond. There are lots of grown-ups, and they're wearing beautiful clothes, especially the ladies, but they're also wearing wellies, because we're in a field.

I didn't bring my wellies, but Matthew bends down and I climb onto his back, tucking George safely between my chest and Matthews shoulder-blades. There's a golden ring on Matthew's hand, that I know he's never worn before.

We cross the field and the grown-ups wave and call hello. They're all smiley and some of them are dancing to the violin, and some of them have plastic cups of drinks. I recognise some of them. There's Mr and Mrs Perry and there's two of my best Aunties and lots of Matthews friends. That's my cousin Alice playing the violin.

We get to the middle of the field, and there's a long table covered with a white cloth. There are lots of candles burning on the table and more plastic cups, and Matthew gives Mum champagne and me fizzy apple juice, and Mum says "we need to drink to both of you!"

So Matthew gives a shout, and beckons one of the grown-ups over. It's his friend Ryan, who Dad doesn't like. Ryan's wearing a suit and has a ring too.

"Congratulations, both of you," says Mum, and she drinks, so I do too.

"Thank you for coming!" says Ryan.

Mum says "as if I'd miss my son's wedding!"

Then Matthew kisses Ryan on the mouth, and I cover George's eyes because he's too young to understand such things.

Alice on the violin plays something fast and strange and exciting and perfect for a secret night-time party. Matthew swirls me around and we twirl and spin to the music. His eyes are shining with moonlight.

I say "did you and Ryan get married?"

He says "yes, but you mustn't tell Dad. It's a secret."

It's the sort of secret that makes me worried, because I think Dad will find out somehow, and then I'll be in trouble. But Matthew's face is so happy I don't want to spoil it, so I say "I won't tell. This is the best secret party I've ever been to."

And George and I danced among the grown-up people until it started to get light.