The Uninvited Guest
Entry by: writerEZIXXHYZLG
15th July 2016
Chapter 2- An uninvited guest
Last week, in chapter one I told you the story of the naive seventeen year old girl who dated a travel bureau manager called Robert. He was a handsome, suave and sophisticated man but he carried a chip on his shoulder due to being English but ill-judged by many in society because of his dark skin colour. Unbeknownst to me, he was also gay.
Within a year we were married and had settled in Northern Ireland. I also had a miscarriage and had more sympathy from my friends than I did from Robert. I now continue the story.
**
Once l was over the miscarriage, l was sent home to carry on with life. I was all of eighteen years old and looking forward to finally getting settled with my new twenty two year old husband after a slightly turbulent start but my life became more unsettled. Robert always seemed to be in a bad mood and I would tear myself apart trying to make him happy, cooking his favorite dishes and keeping the house immaculate. In spite of this he began to lecture me about anything and every thing. Things were never clean enough, l should wear white gloves in public, I should conduct myself a certain way.
He seemed to behave in a very disturbed manner, and would take me into a room interrogating me into the early hours of the morning. I had to answer questions about previous boyfriends and what I did with them in bed and he'd say abusive things about my family. He'd found out about an affair my mother had with the family GP and told me she was a whore and more besides.
My mother had mistakenly taken Robert into her confidence. l learnt later that was something you didn’t do with him, he would talk to you in a friendly and understanding way, gleaning any information from you he could store away and use later to hurt you by altering the information he had from you. Because of my youth and inexperience I believed he was right and was unable to defend myself or my family properly.
l had been brought up in a Council house, my mother did love her dogs, my father was an old man some thirty years her senior,incapable of doing anything much. And they had never married. These things were perfectly fine until Robert twisted them and made me feel unworthy. He was very clever, by stating some facts that were true, but adding lies and fairy tales l would believe his slant on things, though it was concocted to make him feel better and me a lot worse.
When we first arrived in Coleraine, l was amazed when Robert hauled me off to the best department store there was there and bought me a lovely dress and a pair of shoes to match the pattern of the dress in the same colours. l didn’t know why l deserved such generous treatment, but accepted the clothes happily. But it turns out there was an agenda and whilst he was in the process of molding me into an obedient upper middle class wife he was busy erasing the person I was before. He threw away things that were of sentimental value, such as a very dear teddy I'd had since I was six and wanted to pass on to my children and all of my records.
About this time we made friends with a few students, in particular . Billy was from the infamous Shank Hill road in Belfast. He was tall and dark with such a lovely character, a sense of humour, and a warm and welcoming nature. You just couldn’t resist him he was so nice. We were also friendly with his girlfriend, Marylyn but in spite of that Billy was actually gay. I didn't know it at the time but I did very much have a sense of being ignored by Robert and made to feel like an uninvited guest in my own home.
Still, I regarded Billy as my friend too and we continued to see him regularly. He and Robert used to discuss their latest assignment, the students at Uni and we all did some art. l tried something different, for a change, l had Art O level so l felt confident l could succeed and not get the usual criticism from Robert. However, l was sadly mistaken as Robert burst into maniacal laughter, denigrating my efforts. l was pleased when Billy interrupted Robert's scorn and told him to show some appreciation. l noticed Roberts eyes flashed in annoyance at his friends support for me but l didn’t think anything of it,l had seen a good portion of Roberts nature by then,so l decided not ruffle still waters.
It wasn’t long before Robert started suggesting l go back to England and stay with my mother. He said he needed time on his own to be able to study and complete his assignments, so eventually l agreed. l was happy to stay with mum, but she worked full-time,sometimes overtime, so l knew l wouldn’t get much company. Both of my brothers were also doing their own thing so l wasn’t exactly thrilled at the thought. He got me a cheap flight back to Gatwick and off l went,all on my own first, on the plane and then a train to Guildford.
Once l was back in England, l relished the familiarity. Strangely, l missed Rob but it was nice being back home again. It seemed a bit odd, me being newly married and now geographically separated from him, but l knew l could write to him and he could always phone me,as mum had a phone installed to keep in touch with her sister in Australia.
Don't ask me why but for days l yearned to be back with Robert,writing him loving letters and begging him to ask me back. It was useless, he just sent me businesslike replies without kisses or affection and l really felt alone. Then my mother told me there were jobs going in her department of the civil service and l should apply for one.
l used to walk with my mother into work and loved it,the work was busy but interesting and l soon got to know the people in the office. l loved the walk into the office, the sun was shining and l felt good that year in 1972. The office was in an old house and there were white ducks waddling around the garden. Mum and l used walk along the river,taking in the beauty of our surroundings.
After a difficult start to my marriage l was happy at last.
l was working with lovely people and there was even talk of my promotion,life was definitely worth living. But my yearning for children and the dream of married life wouldn't die and I wanted to return to Northern Ireland.
Last week, in chapter one I told you the story of the naive seventeen year old girl who dated a travel bureau manager called Robert. He was a handsome, suave and sophisticated man but he carried a chip on his shoulder due to being English but ill-judged by many in society because of his dark skin colour. Unbeknownst to me, he was also gay.
Within a year we were married and had settled in Northern Ireland. I also had a miscarriage and had more sympathy from my friends than I did from Robert. I now continue the story.
**
Once l was over the miscarriage, l was sent home to carry on with life. I was all of eighteen years old and looking forward to finally getting settled with my new twenty two year old husband after a slightly turbulent start but my life became more unsettled. Robert always seemed to be in a bad mood and I would tear myself apart trying to make him happy, cooking his favorite dishes and keeping the house immaculate. In spite of this he began to lecture me about anything and every thing. Things were never clean enough, l should wear white gloves in public, I should conduct myself a certain way.
He seemed to behave in a very disturbed manner, and would take me into a room interrogating me into the early hours of the morning. I had to answer questions about previous boyfriends and what I did with them in bed and he'd say abusive things about my family. He'd found out about an affair my mother had with the family GP and told me she was a whore and more besides.
My mother had mistakenly taken Robert into her confidence. l learnt later that was something you didn’t do with him, he would talk to you in a friendly and understanding way, gleaning any information from you he could store away and use later to hurt you by altering the information he had from you. Because of my youth and inexperience I believed he was right and was unable to defend myself or my family properly.
l had been brought up in a Council house, my mother did love her dogs, my father was an old man some thirty years her senior,incapable of doing anything much. And they had never married. These things were perfectly fine until Robert twisted them and made me feel unworthy. He was very clever, by stating some facts that were true, but adding lies and fairy tales l would believe his slant on things, though it was concocted to make him feel better and me a lot worse.
When we first arrived in Coleraine, l was amazed when Robert hauled me off to the best department store there was there and bought me a lovely dress and a pair of shoes to match the pattern of the dress in the same colours. l didn’t know why l deserved such generous treatment, but accepted the clothes happily. But it turns out there was an agenda and whilst he was in the process of molding me into an obedient upper middle class wife he was busy erasing the person I was before. He threw away things that were of sentimental value, such as a very dear teddy I'd had since I was six and wanted to pass on to my children and all of my records.
About this time we made friends with a few students, in particular . Billy was from the infamous Shank Hill road in Belfast. He was tall and dark with such a lovely character, a sense of humour, and a warm and welcoming nature. You just couldn’t resist him he was so nice. We were also friendly with his girlfriend, Marylyn but in spite of that Billy was actually gay. I didn't know it at the time but I did very much have a sense of being ignored by Robert and made to feel like an uninvited guest in my own home.
Still, I regarded Billy as my friend too and we continued to see him regularly. He and Robert used to discuss their latest assignment, the students at Uni and we all did some art. l tried something different, for a change, l had Art O level so l felt confident l could succeed and not get the usual criticism from Robert. However, l was sadly mistaken as Robert burst into maniacal laughter, denigrating my efforts. l was pleased when Billy interrupted Robert's scorn and told him to show some appreciation. l noticed Roberts eyes flashed in annoyance at his friends support for me but l didn’t think anything of it,l had seen a good portion of Roberts nature by then,so l decided not ruffle still waters.
It wasn’t long before Robert started suggesting l go back to England and stay with my mother. He said he needed time on his own to be able to study and complete his assignments, so eventually l agreed. l was happy to stay with mum, but she worked full-time,sometimes overtime, so l knew l wouldn’t get much company. Both of my brothers were also doing their own thing so l wasn’t exactly thrilled at the thought. He got me a cheap flight back to Gatwick and off l went,all on my own first, on the plane and then a train to Guildford.
Once l was back in England, l relished the familiarity. Strangely, l missed Rob but it was nice being back home again. It seemed a bit odd, me being newly married and now geographically separated from him, but l knew l could write to him and he could always phone me,as mum had a phone installed to keep in touch with her sister in Australia.
Don't ask me why but for days l yearned to be back with Robert,writing him loving letters and begging him to ask me back. It was useless, he just sent me businesslike replies without kisses or affection and l really felt alone. Then my mother told me there were jobs going in her department of the civil service and l should apply for one.
l used to walk with my mother into work and loved it,the work was busy but interesting and l soon got to know the people in the office. l loved the walk into the office, the sun was shining and l felt good that year in 1972. The office was in an old house and there were white ducks waddling around the garden. Mum and l used walk along the river,taking in the beauty of our surroundings.
After a difficult start to my marriage l was happy at last.
l was working with lovely people and there was even talk of my promotion,life was definitely worth living. But my yearning for children and the dream of married life wouldn't die and I wanted to return to Northern Ireland.
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