Olympus Circa 2016

Olympus Circa 2016

“Mum! Dad! It’s starting!” grey-eyed Athena called out.

She turned back to where giant-killing Hermes was adjusting the angle of the HD TV screen. Hermes had attended some of the events at the Olympics in London in 2012 and had arrived back at Olympus raving about how far the humans had come over the centuries. Some of the other gods hadn’t believed him, their somewhat reclusive existence now cutting them off from the progress of global culture. So, Hermes had brought the television back from his subsequent travels and installed it at the top of the mountain just in time to catch some of the events in Rio.

Once he had the screen facing just the way he wanted, the messenger god settled himself cross-legged on the floor in front of the sofa, where Athena lounged with her sister, laughter-loving Aphrodite.

White-armed Hera appeared in the doorway, peering at the screen in confusion.

“Are those women?” she demanded, imperiously.

The Egyptian women’s volleyball team was squaring up on the court against the Germans.

“Yes, mum,” fair Aphrodite sighed. “They’ve been allowed to compete for ages. They have nearly as many events as the men these days.”

“But why are they wearing so many clothes?” Zeus, delighting in thunder, boomed as he entered the room.

Athena exchanged a wary glance with Apollo, rouser of armies, who had just collapsed into an armchair across from her.

“It’s something to do with one of the active religions on Earth,” Apollo said.

Zeus was a bit touchy about religion in the modern age, since so few people still worshipped him or any of his family. There were some who still referenced the evils and blessings he dispensed from his jars, attempting to make deals with him to improve their lot in life, but none of them really believed in it.

Today, though, Zeus was more focused on a different topic of nostalgia.

“Back in the day, the athletes would all compete completely naked,” he said, as if the others didn’t already know this fact. “Much more streamlined, if you ask me. Aren’t they hot under all that material?”

“There are lots of differences now, dad,” Apollo of the silver bow said, glad to have avoided any kind of eruption about religion. “You should see the archery - they have the most amazing equipment!”

Artemis, the archer goddess, scoffed. “Smells like cheating to me,” she said. “It shows much more skill if you use a traditional bow.”

“Cheaters used to be forced to pay for a statue of me,” wide-seeing Zeus mused. “I don’t suppose they do that any more, do they?”

Ox-eyed Hera laid a conciliatory hand on his arm. “No, I don’t expect so, dear. But then, it’s not only the Greeks competing these days, so the focus on us has lessened quite a bit.”

Ares of the glinting helmet spoke up for the first time. “Used to be the good old Greeks winning everything. Now they’re lucky to get much of a look-in. Damn shame.”

“At least there are water events now,” Poseidon the earth-shaker pointed out. “There’s a lot more variety on offer, so everyone can find something of interest. It’s not naked men just wrestling in honour of mighty Zeus, which was always a bit boring, in my opinion.”

Athena, hope of soldiers, sighed. “The world has moved on a lot from when we used to be the centre of attention at the Olympics,” she said.

“But at least we get to sit up here and watch it all unfold in comfort,” said Hephaestus of the strong arms from his position in the corner. “Beats fighting and arguing and having to take sides all the time. Ooh, Germany’s winning!”

Ares immediately started cheering vociferously for the Egyptian team, and they were all soon bickering over who they each wanted to win.

Just like old times.