What Would Jesus...

So anyway, this piece occurred to me, it`s about an L.A. gangbanger named Jesus Garcia.

Actually now that I`m on the subject, is it just me or is it weird that the name Jesus is popular in Central American cultures. I mean seriously, imagine being saddled with that, talk about trying to live up to your name. I`m named after a saint and that’s difficult enough, how weird would it be to hear some mother calling her son in for dinner, “Jesus,” or as I`m Irish I suppose that`d be “Jaysus, your dinners ready.” Though now that I think of it, I have heard many a mother screaming, “JAYSUS CHRIST get in here ye little fecker,” maybe there are more of them about than I thought.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Jesus Garcia. Anyway Jesus is gunned down in an ambush, and his three compadres escape by carjacking a passing Buick being driven by eighteen year old Maria with her fourteen month old brother in his car seat in the middle of the back seat. (See, I hate that last sentence, the word seat twice so close together, ugly) anyway…

Cheet, who`s in the front passenger seat, is next in command and wondering what would Jesus do in this situation (see what I did there) while Nico bleeds all over the backseat, he`s been shot in the left side, and is slowly drowning in his own blood.

There`s a whole cast of other characters, like Terri, an ex-trauma surgeon with a coke habit (that`s why she`s an ex) who does patch up work for the gangs, among others. Everybody`s story is in flashback, we start in the aftermath and work our way backwards; a day in the life as it were, all very Tarantino. It`s a really good story, (would I lie to you) possibly the best thing I`ve never written :)

Sounds great I hear you say, (did I mention I was psychic) what`s the problem?

Well, firstly I`m forever bumping up against the word limit. Not a complaint, it`s there for a reason, I understand that; but this thing is turning into a novella in my head and I`m regularly getting complaints in feedback when my stories are unfinished.

Secondly; while it adheres to the letter of the title, I`m pretty sure it`s not in the spirit that Alison intended, Tis the season, and all that.

So instead I`ve written a poem that abides by the spirit if not the letter of the title, it`s more than a little twee, but hey.

Oh and a Merry Christmas to you all and I`ll see you on the other side.

Finbarr

P.S. in case you were wondering; what Jesus would have done is off Maria and her brother Peter at the first opportunity. But as it`s almost Christmas, and Cheet isn’t a complete bastard, he lets them live (Phew)

And now as promised……….

A GIDDY JINGLING

WHEN BONE CHILL AIR DOES FROST OUR PANE
TIS JINGLING TIME BEGUN AGAIN
AND SONGS OF PEACE AND LOVE ABOUND
WHEN CAROLING HORDES US ALL SURROUND

THOSE TUNES RUNG OUT THROUGH SHOP AND MALL
WILL RENDER FREE THE TOTS IN ALL
AND FROM EACH SEASONS GREETING GIVEN
THERE IS A CHILDHOOD MEMORY RIVEN

ALL SMALL ONES EYES AGLINT AND GLOW
FRONT FEVERED THOUGHTS CONSUMED WITH SNOW
AND ALL THE HOUSES NOW RE-DRESSED
IN LIGHTS OF BRILLIANT HUE
THAT TWINKLE, FLASH AND MESMERISE,
REMAKE THE WORLD ANEW

BEHIND EACH DOOR A FRONTING ROAD
NOW WEATHERED ALL IN HOLLY
THE MANY TALES THEY ARE A TOLD
OF HIM SO ROUND AND JOLLY
TO SLEIGH FILLED TALES OF FLAKES THAT GLISTEN
WITH WIDE EYED SMILES THE YOUNG DO LISTEN

THOSE TALES ARE FILLED WITH REINDEER FLEET
WITH MAGIC SHOES UPON THEIR FEET
THEY DANCE AND PRANCE ACROSS THE SKY
FOR ALL DO KNOW THOSE REINDEER FLY

AND NOW AT LAST THAT DAY IS HERE
THAT ONCE UPON A MAGIC YEAR
AND SANTA NOW HE BOARDS HIS SLEIGH
A SNAP OF REINS, HE`S ON HIS WAY

THE LITTLE NOW TO EARLY BED
ON MALLOWED COCAO THEY`VE BEEN FED
AND DREAM WILL THEY OF HOOVES AND SLEIGH
A BRIGHT RED NOSE TO LIGHT THEIR WAY

BEFORE THE DAWNS NEW LIGHT CAN BREAK
BE SURE THOSE SCAMPS WILL LAY AWAKE
THERE SEE THEM DOWN THE STAIRS THEY CREEP
SO SOFT, SO QUIET, WHILE PARENTS SLEEP

A MOUNTAIN NOW SURROUNDS EACH TREE
WRAPPED GIFTS AS FAR AS EYES CAN SEE
AND ALL THROUGHOUT THE LAND THEY`LL SCREAM
OH MUM! OH DAD! DEAR SANTA`S BEEN

SO NOW ONCE MORE TIS DRAWING NEAR
THAT GIDDY JINGLING TIME OF YEAR
RELEASE WITHIN EACH GIRL OR BOY
WHO`LL FILL AGAIN THIS WORLD WITH JOY