Dangerous Expensive Principles

Entry by: quietmandave

4th January 2017
'No'. She stared defiantly at Julian, holding her gaze for a longer time than any previous occasion in their eight years together.
Julian collected his thoughts. He knew that there was no way through this objection, he just couldn't see what her objection could be. She was waiting for his reply but he had none. In the same way she had demanded an erection on the perfect day in her cycle to get pregnant and he had failed to perform then. And yet in the end he had managed what had been required of him. He clutched at the past. 'You said you fell in love with my wild side. You loved watching me take risks'.
'That's true' she admitted reluctantly.
'I do this every year', he added, feeling a wave of confidence. Perhaps there was a side of her that he had never seen that would give in after that steely expression. She dropped her gaze. The defiant face returned. 'But this year is different. We need you'.
She had never used 'we' in that sense before . Perhaps for the first time Julian acknowledged that he was to become a father. But this, fuelled by adrenalin, was who he was. It defined the deepest sense of his existence. The annual expedition 'with the boys' to Switzerland, the routine of researching new routes, putting on the wing suit. The thrill of the moment when he launched himself into the air with only rock below. It defined Him. She had loved him for this. Did she no longer love him?
'You have to see that your priorities are going to change,' she stated. 'You have to see that being a father will alter you. You can't jump off mountains any more'.
But Julian knew that she had fallen in love with his sense of risk, his love for life, his recklessness. Who would he be if he turned his back on himself?