Note To Self

Every few weeks I go to the hardware store. I think it's Swedish. I moved house four months ago and there's always a lot to buy. Every time I finish I promise myself I'll write a list, but I never do.

Today, I must buy a plunger, because my sink is blocked. I could have bought a special spanner to undo the u-bend but I don't think they sell that in this shop; I know pretty well everything they sell now. Anyway a plunger will be good for the shower; my girlfriend's hair is long and seems to get tangled in the outflow. Rubber gloves. I need rubber gloves too.

I know I saw the plunger next to the mops on a previous visit. No choice of colour, but that doesn't matter to me. I run my eyes along the shelves, but I'm not seeing the plunger. But I do see a bucket. Red or grey? We'll both be using it, that's for sure. She'd prefer blue. I ask an assistant and she points me to the other side of the store where there is a stack of blue buckets. Perfect.

I turn and there are blank CDs. I remember that I must back up my photos, and I ran out of these CDs a couple of months ago. I see a pack of ten CD-R with cases, which is what I always buy. That should do me three or four years. Now, that plunger.

'Out of stock,' says the assistant. 'Can I help you with anything else?' For no reason I remember that I do indeed need something else, a long life light bulb, large bayonet fitting, for the cupboard under the stairs. I buy two. I check all the other bulbs, thinking through where we use each one, but I'm pretty sure that they're all working well. I buy a couple as spares anyway, including the tiny oven light.

I always need something in the kitchen utensils aisle. We both cook, and there's always that moment when you want to prepare something and don't have the right tools. What were we making? Was it lasagne? I work my way through each utensil, imagining how we would use it, and whether we identified a need at any point. Nothing. Surely I must have missed something?

I turn and walk down another aisle, then decide to slowly walk round the shop with the intention of returning to the kitchen utensils. Perhaps it will jog my memory. I buy a CR2032 battery for the front door bell, as it's starting to become erratic and that's the most obvious cause. I buy a small clear plastic box for my phone accessories. I buy a soap dispensing dish brush, because I get dry hands and that looks a good solution. And I buy a pack of M8 woodscrews because I have run out of that size. I think a packet was lost in the move and four months is long enough to find them.

I'm back at the kitchen utensils and the first thing I see is what I was looking for, a garlic press.

I pay, look at my watch and realise that I have no time for sandwiches. I return to work.