Note To Self
Entry by: Becky1712
10th February 2017
Dear Future Self,
Remember this note when times seem at their most difficult; when you are at your most exhausted, feeling alone, or at the furthest reaches of your tether.
Remember this note before you file for divorce, before you secretly pack a bag and catch a last minute flight to a far flung region, never – with any luck – to be seen or heard of again, or before you ‘accidentally’ chuck the baby down the stairs.
We’ve been a mother now for 5 weeks, 4 days and 17 hours – not that we’re counting, hey? People keep promising it will get easier, and guess what? That appears to be utter bullshit! As you know if you’ve felt the need to read this, there has been no magic wave of a wand – as promised by some – at week 2, 4, 6 or 8, with suddenly all the pieces of parenthood falling neatly into place.
Instead, what I’d like you, Future Self, to remember, is that there are days, even parts of days, that are easier than others; there are even moments in which you will feel sublimely happy being a mother.
Today, for example, she’s smiled when we’ve blown raspberries at her. This is definitely NOT merely wind, as she did it REPEATEDLY. 5 weeks, 4 days and 18 hours ago we would have found the idea that this could make our heat melt absolutely ludicrous. It seems the littlest of things can have that effect these days.
Do you remember how she falls asleep when you sing Hush Little Baby to her? The least original of song choices (guess we’re not as cool as we think we are) but it works like a charm. She loves our voice.
Remember how she really, truly does focus on the black and white pictures we printed from the Internet and stuck on the living room wall? She enjoys looking at them, and they’re stimulating her mind. We did that! Higher level parenting right there.
And try not to be too harsh on our husband – he’s doing his best! True, he acts like some noble war hero every time he arrives home from work, boldly stepping into the battlefield of nappies and dribble bibs for an hour so we can have a shower, get something to eat, have a wee – all things that should be considered a basic human right. Ok, so that’s colossally infuriating, on par with the condescending looks he gives whenever we act in the tiniest bit overprotective (like wanting to make sure her hands are warm, picking her up within the first 30 seconds of her crying, making sure her bottles are correctly sterilised – basic parenting, really), and these may make you feel like driving the bread knife through his skull, but remember: if he’s dead, you’re totally on your own with the baby. An endlessly frustrating husband is better at this time than zero husband.
So, don’t divorce him just yet, don’t flee the country and don’t murder our baby.
Hang on in there! Remember those wise words from that bit-part character in Grey’s Anatomy that time; to be a good parent you ‘just need to show up’, and you’re doing much more than that.
Good luck!
Present Self (Currently in a good mood and having a great day with our daughter)
Remember this note when times seem at their most difficult; when you are at your most exhausted, feeling alone, or at the furthest reaches of your tether.
Remember this note before you file for divorce, before you secretly pack a bag and catch a last minute flight to a far flung region, never – with any luck – to be seen or heard of again, or before you ‘accidentally’ chuck the baby down the stairs.
We’ve been a mother now for 5 weeks, 4 days and 17 hours – not that we’re counting, hey? People keep promising it will get easier, and guess what? That appears to be utter bullshit! As you know if you’ve felt the need to read this, there has been no magic wave of a wand – as promised by some – at week 2, 4, 6 or 8, with suddenly all the pieces of parenthood falling neatly into place.
Instead, what I’d like you, Future Self, to remember, is that there are days, even parts of days, that are easier than others; there are even moments in which you will feel sublimely happy being a mother.
Today, for example, she’s smiled when we’ve blown raspberries at her. This is definitely NOT merely wind, as she did it REPEATEDLY. 5 weeks, 4 days and 18 hours ago we would have found the idea that this could make our heat melt absolutely ludicrous. It seems the littlest of things can have that effect these days.
Do you remember how she falls asleep when you sing Hush Little Baby to her? The least original of song choices (guess we’re not as cool as we think we are) but it works like a charm. She loves our voice.
Remember how she really, truly does focus on the black and white pictures we printed from the Internet and stuck on the living room wall? She enjoys looking at them, and they’re stimulating her mind. We did that! Higher level parenting right there.
And try not to be too harsh on our husband – he’s doing his best! True, he acts like some noble war hero every time he arrives home from work, boldly stepping into the battlefield of nappies and dribble bibs for an hour so we can have a shower, get something to eat, have a wee – all things that should be considered a basic human right. Ok, so that’s colossally infuriating, on par with the condescending looks he gives whenever we act in the tiniest bit overprotective (like wanting to make sure her hands are warm, picking her up within the first 30 seconds of her crying, making sure her bottles are correctly sterilised – basic parenting, really), and these may make you feel like driving the bread knife through his skull, but remember: if he’s dead, you’re totally on your own with the baby. An endlessly frustrating husband is better at this time than zero husband.
So, don’t divorce him just yet, don’t flee the country and don’t murder our baby.
Hang on in there! Remember those wise words from that bit-part character in Grey’s Anatomy that time; to be a good parent you ‘just need to show up’, and you’re doing much more than that.
Good luck!
Present Self (Currently in a good mood and having a great day with our daughter)
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