An Alternative Explanation

Entry by: Wagga

17th March 2017
What’s the Alternative?

It can’t be denied, this phenomenon.
My own mother dreamed of bedding Obama,
Clinton, too, when he held office. She loves them.
She foams at the mouth when she hears them criticized.
She gulps air and stares bug-eyed.

It’s not a political affiliation. It’s cultish and emotional,
the worship of a student for a beloved teacher,
a bobbysoxer fainting in the auditorium, fans at a ballgame,
soccer fanatics. There’s no proper distance,
no adult wisdom. Just childish worship.

It’s the maddened love for a cult leader; fat women
exposing their heaving breasts. Boys panting.
It’s what serial killers want from men and women
– their pleas before death, desperate pleas, total obedience.
It’s what Manson got from his sick followers: adoration.

What in the world is happening? Has the US President become
nothing more than a porn star? Is the fantasy to fuck him?
If so, how in the world did it come to this? Men and women
once clambered to shake a President’s hand; now they dream of
sleeping with him in the Lincoln bedroom.

The women who fought for women’s suffrage
didn’t want to sleep with Woodrow Wilson.
Did American women have fantasies of fucking Teddy
(Roosevelt, not Kennedy)? Little children may have
wanted a teddy bear, but did women before ever
dream of taking the President to bed? I doubt it.

Where is this heading? If we don’t grow up and grow up fast,
the next president will treat us all like children;
we’ll be told when to come in off the streets; we’ll be sent
to bed early without our supper. If we don’t grow up,
and grow up fast, the President will give this country
something to cry its eyes out, and it won’t be pretty.

Sounds like the country is readying for the OK Corral
at High Noon. It’s either the ALT-Right OR the ALT-Left
to the rescue. Some profess to like the black philosopher,
Cornel West. Others, Louis Farrakhan. Then there’s
Richard Spencer and Milo who for some sound right.
They claim to be defenders of Greek and Roman civilization.

How did tall and elegant become criteria for political power?
Ever since William Howard Taft and Grover Cleveland,
It’s been necessary for the President to have the profile of JFK. 
Is it time for the Wall Street Journal to take a look?

Presidents seem to need the looks of a matinee idol to be elected to office; Bunny Mellon gave millions to John Edwards
because of his kisser. Funny Bunny barely flinched when pretty- boy fizzled. Many women have fantasies of going to bed with Clinton; some prefer Hillary. Should some think-tank survey
the American people about their depravity?

Only Wilt Chamberlain had the chance to get as many
women as President Obama. How is it we’ve come to desire
a President with a magnificent body over one with brains?
Finding the answer to this might be a job for the Bill &
Melinda Gates Foundation.

Is it possible that the President’s performance in bed
is rated higher than an ability to balance the books?
The President of the United States as nothing more than
a piece of meat? Surely the Rand Corporation could get
to the bottom of this. Is there a comparable institution
in England? What about Cambridge?

It can’t be true that it has come to this.
Clinton, Reagan, and Obama: three tall men
who make the ladies swoon. One wonders
what gay men might think. Do they want to sleep
with the President, too? Maybe the Ford Foundation
should conduct a study.

Why not strip them and put them in a center-fold,
Like one of those sexy English rowing teams?
Their private parts covered in whipped cream?
Instead of voting hope and change, we’ll celebrate
Presidential chests and buttocks. America needs to take a poll,
conduct a survey of our most recent proclivities.

Did French women want to sleep with Charles de Gaulle?
What of Gorbachev or Mandela? Our once great Republic
is beginning to rupture, resembling something once
familiar to men like Tacitus and the Roman Emperor.
Isn’t it time to establish a blue-ribbon committee headed
by Henry Kissinger–before he dies? He’s over 90.