Never Say Die

Never. It’s a long road to infinity, the void stretching ahead, full of blissful nothingness.

Never die. Separation anxiety expands to fill all available space. A sense of loss so great it encompasses all conscious thought. It’s a long road to infinity, the void stretching ahead, full of blissful nothingness, but also agonising solitude.

Never say die. Grit and determination will win the day. But separation anxiety expands to fill all available space. Desire for victory can only take one small personality so far. Bereavement is inevitable across the expanse of human experience. A sense of loss so great it encompasses all conscious thought, blocking out the possibility of standing tall, pushing through. The path stretches ahead into the void, one foot trudging after the other, on and on. It’s a long road to infinity, seeking peace and blissful nothingness, but fearing the agonising solitude of being forever without you.

I’ll never say die. It’s important to cultivate a positive attitude. Grit and determination will win the day. It’s always worse for someone else, in another part of this world. But separation anxiety expands to fill all available space. Just because my problems are small compared to those of others, it doesn’t mean they aren’t still problematical to me, dammit. Desire for victory can only take one small personality so far. My strong front hides a cowering, snivelling back that shrinks from the world and just wants to crawl into a hole and never come out. Because bereavement is inevitable across the expanse of human existence. I will lose you one day. I know it, I see it coming, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. All I can do is anticipate a sense of loss so great it encompasses all conscious thought, blocking out the possibility of standing tall, pushing through, putting on a brave face, and all that crap. I will eventually have to walk on alone. I see the path before me, stretching ahead into the void, with my one poor foot trudging after the other, on and on in silence. I try to put it out of my mind, to live in the moment and appreciate what I have now, sparing no thought for how things might change in the future. But it’s a long road to infinity, wishing for peace and blissful nothingness, but consigned to the agonising solitude of being forever without you, my love.