Back To Normal?

The Descent.



But I remember that moment.
That terrifying moment.
When I lost my mind.

Indeed. Crazy.

Where the world had once made sense,
Now it whispered and span,
In a dizzying contortion of vibrancy.

And no one knew except I,
About the colours that ate my head alive,
Enveloping me in stains of every shade.

Say nothing. Shhh!
Let me go quietly.

But my head is inescapable.
Christ, I am drowning,
And you are no driftwood upon which I can float,
I am lost at sea, and you,
You are a woeful captain,
Not willing to halt the world for a single man.

So let me drown.

And that day, I knew I had gone,

So far gone,

Past that line that binds us within the confines of sanity.

Strict prohibitions of imagination,
Loosed themselves when I succumbed,
And let the waters engulf me.

My god, I tasted fire.

You could not begin to imagine,
How sweet the submission could be,
Ethereality ghosted a touch to my forehead,
And turned the depths of shadows,
To pure vibrancy.

It was so powerful.
I had to nod.

I had to smile.

To let them know that this had happened.
But hush child, hush,
And try on that pretty disposition,
We mustn't let them know.

Don't tell them I am clinging to the stake!

The flames lick my unarmed skin,
Kissing me with madness,
Taunting me with such strangled laughter,
That I can't help but roll my eyes,
To the back of my head,
To the man in my mind,
To ask him if he sees the future?

Clinging to the pyre,
To this mad desire,

To stay mad.

Because coming down,
Is not so much a crash,
As an all consuming plummet,
From the height of heaven itself.

When the passion is dissolved in acid,
And I am devoid of any sensation,
But guilt

And pain.

The writing on the walls.

The feather light giggles.

The utter ferocity of confused anger.

All swept under the vintage armchair in the living room.

As the industrial lights are switched on in my head.

And the last sigh of madness passes my lips.

Is this what normal feels like?