Just Say It

Staring at a Hedgerow in Spring

Mum and child staring
at a hedge; minutes slope past
in silence. I move on
as daughter howls at the loss
of view or the hedge’s voice.

I’m ashamed to see
how small your memory shrank
dug deep by winter
blinked back to life by spring’s prompt
the violets’ purple nudge.

Had my time again
I’d give you defensive words,
say sorry in advance,
explain there's pain while I still
clutched your hand in mine.

Would have said to you
the darkness comes, the night reigns
I couldn’t change things,
make life fair or protect you
from your piteous surprise.