Nothing But Disgust

Entry by: jaguar

9th March 2018
Nothing but disgust in your eyes
the dancing laughter, love melts
understanding short-cuts flushed
out by bitter brine floods
as wormwood takes my tongue

I have swallowed gall
made my stomach somersault out
acrid waves that gorge my throat
cough up scunner on your pretty trust
I damaged, broke, made bleed

green-yellow of pigeon squit
arrowed beneath my clothes, porous
flesh lets it in, writes on my skin
in blood - betrayer, scum -
as I try to cover it with our quilt
of memories, each hand-stitched square
gets streaked with it, disrelished.

Awful warm sensation, not a hug a burn
as if I’ve wet myself in public, I burrow
behind reeking things, stuff mouth
with mud to stop more words,
yet it grits like old sand found
seasons later in summer shoes
I bury myself in shame.