Organs Of Donation

Entry by: vinita18

17th December 2014

Donating An Organ

Take my eyes gladly and make them your own
They're of no use to me once I'm dead and gone
I hope you see through them all that I once saw
Fill your sight with wonders and my kind of awe

The kidneys - ah! they come in a pair
I don't need to die for one to spare
I'm heartened to know my neighbor touched eighty one
After she'd donated her kidney at forty one

Don't forget to take my heart away
And no, I don't mean that in a funny way
But truly - to have it beating in another's chest
So that his life heals, becomes the best

Wait, there's more in my body that is of use
I know 'cause I've filled the forms and ticked the dos
Sclera, cornea, liver, tissues, sinew and skin
If I could, I'd give away my last breath from within

How redeeming to carry away only my soul
For there's no need up there for flesh and bones
I'd rather my kneecap help a grandpa walk
Alongside his grandchild when his grandchild craves to go to the park

Donating my organs - such a glorious delight!
Joy to leave the world with a body so light
Divine to live life again through others
Connected tendon to tendon, muscle to muscles

What more could I possibly desire
Except that life's precious fire
Finds its flame in another's breath
And lives a new life after I am dead.
*********

Marker 1

What I liked about this piece: It has a comprehensive approach; including everything except hair.
Favourite sentence: If I could, I'd give away my last breath from within
Feedback: I'm no expert on poetry and I know it has to be written in an hour, but it does get a bit more ragged as it goes on. I think it is probably worth some more work.

Marker 2

What I liked about this piece: A truly optimistic view of organ donation, not looking at the trauma of those needing the organ but at the joy they will hopefully experience in receiving: and the joy of the donor in saving - or making - someone else's life.
Favourite sentence: I hope you see through them all that I once saw
Fill your sight with wonders and my kind of awe
Feedback: A really enjoyable piece. I wanted to put it on Facebook to encourage my friends to sign up for organ donation! I wonder if this could be passed along to the Blood & Transplant organisation for them to use?!
Well done.

Marker 3

What I liked about this piece: Simple, from-the-heart writing.
Favourite sentence: 'how redeeming to carry away only my soul'
Feedback: I like how the soul has been woven in with the organs.