Rock And Roll

MR SHARIN’S ALLOTMENT

I hate cabbages! They’re all growing them (except Mr Sharin, of course. But then, he is a bit different. I must say, he grows really lovely stuff. Not a cabbage in sight on his allotment.)
It’s all Fred Taylor’s fault.
“Grow a line of cabbages and it’ll keep the slugs off the rest of your fruit and veg. Slugs prefer cabbages’, he proclaimed one morning. ‘Course, word soon got round and before you could crunch a carrot, everyone – except Mr Sharin – was growing them. Like sheep they were. Laughing and joking as they sowed their seeds. Thought they had the answer. Even joked that they would be asked to go on Gardener’s World. They would astonish the nation. TV crews and journalists would descend upon the allotments and it, and
they, would become famous. Mr Sharin did not like this idea.
“We don’t want anyone trampling over our allotments. I’ve seen these camera men. Wires trailing all over the place, then they walk backwards while they’re filming, and they have big feet. No, you won’t want that”.
“It won’t be like that” said Mrs Jenkins. “Anyway, there’ll probably be a policeman just to see that everything is all right, so to speak”.
“Police?” squeaked Mr Sharin. “What do we want them here for? Poking around other people’s business”.
Poor Mr Sharin. He went quite pale. He’s often here ‘till quite late in the evening. Lovely shed. Plays his music. Rock and Roll he likes. Keeps his shed locked though. Doesn’t like anyone to go in there. Mind you, he grows some lovely stuff. He often gives me some. Delicious they are. Not sure what they’re called but I know they’re not cabbages! Lovely pointed leaves. In fact I really think they’re good for me. Oh yes. I like what Mr Sharin grows.
It’s such a lovely day. I’m more than happy resting against this five bar gate watching people digging and hoeing. Nice and soothing I find it. Hello, that’s a police siren. What's happening?
“You called Gardener’s World after all Fred?” Mrs Jenkins calls out.
“No! What the heck are they doing here?”
Everyone’s stopping to look. Police are everywhere.
Oh, Mr Sharin’s leaving – in fact, he’s running. They’re chasing him. Oops, he’s taken a dive. Landed face down in Fred’s cabbages. That’ll upset Fred. Why are they handcuffing him? Doesn't look as if he’ll be doing any rocking and rolling for some time.
Now they’re digging up some of his plants. I hope they don’t come back for the rest. My mouth is watering just looking at them.
Fred’s having a confab with the others. He seems to think
that the TV crew might come after all. Something to do with Mr Sharin’s plants. I would certainly recommend them. Perhaps some of the others will grow the same. I’ve never seen a slug on them. Time for one more nibble at those lovely leaves. By the way, don’t bother with the cabbages. Yes, slugs do like them but it just encourages more slugs to join them and, as people say, ‘they breed like rabbits’. As a rabbit I really do object to that!