Another Creation Myth
Entry by: J.P.
21st July 2024
THE LAST MAN ON EARTH
Problems and worries forgotten for the moment, the last man on Earth sat down in his comfortable, cushioned armchair. He placed his feet on a stool and warmed his toes in front of the study fire. Gradually slipping into a gentle slumber he was awoken by the door opening.
“What is it?”
“Sorry to disturb you, Mark, but I’m not sure what to do about Geraldine. I’m rather worried.”
“What’s the trouble this time? Honestly Esther, why do I have to deal with everything
around here?”
“I just want a man’s view point on this. As you’re the only one left, I have no-one else to turn to. You are also her father.”
Mark sighed. Geraldine again. Why isn’t she as placid as Evelyn or his nephew Adam? Once again he wondered at the miracle that Adam was staying with them when it all kicked off.
“Okay, okay. What’s wrong this time?”
“She wants to be called Gerald.”
“And that’s a problem? Lots of people want to shorten their names.”
“No, that’s not the problem.”
“Come on, Esther. I have got work to do.”
“Mark, I’m not sure how to put this but, she wants to be a boy.”
“A boy?”
“Yes. She will never have babies, wants to have her hair cut short, wear trousers all the time and a football for Christmas.”
“What? I knew we shouldn’t have called her Geraldine. I don’t like to speak ill of the dead but this is your mothers’ fault. I should have stuck to my guns and called her Charlotte.”
“But, Adam that’s…”
“No buts about it Esther. I can’t get involved with this. You’re the mother, deal with it.”
“Mark! You stupid man. Listen to me for once in your life. My goodness the phrase
‘If you were the last man on earth I wouldn’t marry you’, keeps coming to mind.
The trouble is you are and I am, married to you I mean. So I’m stuck with it. Oh, what are we going to do? Why has this burden been put upon us? Why were we chosen and no-one else?"
“Now, come on Esther. You know why. I always said the internet was the devil’s eye.
O yes! I knew alright. Remember how you kept on about the fact that we ‘needed the internet? The children would use it for their homework. Everyone was getting it. The whole world had it’? Aren’t you glad that I said ‘no-way’? Otherwise, the virus would have entered
our home. We would have perished with the rest of the world. Now, pull yourself together. It will soon be dinner time. Can I smell beef? I’ll open a bottle of red. That will cheer you up.”
“But, Mark. What I want you to realize is, that if Geraldine wants to be a boy it means that there is only Adam and Evelyn left to father a whole new nation.”
“Well, I can’t see any problem with that Esther. After all. It’s been done before…”
2.
Problems and worries forgotten for the moment, the last man on Earth sat down in his comfortable, cushioned armchair. He placed his feet on a stool and warmed his toes in front of the study fire. Gradually slipping into a gentle slumber he was awoken by the door opening.
“What is it?”
“Sorry to disturb you, Mark, but I’m not sure what to do about Geraldine. I’m rather worried.”
“What’s the trouble this time? Honestly Esther, why do I have to deal with everything
around here?”
“I just want a man’s view point on this. As you’re the only one left, I have no-one else to turn to. You are also her father.”
Mark sighed. Geraldine again. Why isn’t she as placid as Evelyn or his nephew Adam? Once again he wondered at the miracle that Adam was staying with them when it all kicked off.
“Okay, okay. What’s wrong this time?”
“She wants to be called Gerald.”
“And that’s a problem? Lots of people want to shorten their names.”
“No, that’s not the problem.”
“Come on, Esther. I have got work to do.”
“Mark, I’m not sure how to put this but, she wants to be a boy.”
“A boy?”
“Yes. She will never have babies, wants to have her hair cut short, wear trousers all the time and a football for Christmas.”
“What? I knew we shouldn’t have called her Geraldine. I don’t like to speak ill of the dead but this is your mothers’ fault. I should have stuck to my guns and called her Charlotte.”
“But, Adam that’s…”
“No buts about it Esther. I can’t get involved with this. You’re the mother, deal with it.”
“Mark! You stupid man. Listen to me for once in your life. My goodness the phrase
‘If you were the last man on earth I wouldn’t marry you’, keeps coming to mind.
The trouble is you are and I am, married to you I mean. So I’m stuck with it. Oh, what are we going to do? Why has this burden been put upon us? Why were we chosen and no-one else?"
“Now, come on Esther. You know why. I always said the internet was the devil’s eye.
O yes! I knew alright. Remember how you kept on about the fact that we ‘needed the internet? The children would use it for their homework. Everyone was getting it. The whole world had it’? Aren’t you glad that I said ‘no-way’? Otherwise, the virus would have entered
our home. We would have perished with the rest of the world. Now, pull yourself together. It will soon be dinner time. Can I smell beef? I’ll open a bottle of red. That will cheer you up.”
“But, Mark. What I want you to realize is, that if Geraldine wants to be a boy it means that there is only Adam and Evelyn left to father a whole new nation.”
“Well, I can’t see any problem with that Esther. After all. It’s been done before…”
2.
Follow us on Twitter
Follow us on Instagram