I Was Scared

Entry by: spulusan

2nd January 2015

love poem to the buddhist in catholic school

i am told youâ€™ll catch fire easily
like a charcoal lump on string

your decent is beyond prayer

light will emit through the gashes
that has taken over pale skin

blood will boil

you will be the sun for a few seconds
then a star burning forever

if death was underground
and without flame i would
snap insects in between my fingers

my tears would find gravity
so deep beyond the carpet

a steady leak in a cave
a salty ocean for you to float

shed your uniform
you are too good
for wax wings

come enter the bubble
bring earphones

we are only twelve years old
and death is an election

iâ€™d rather you be sea foam
and air for a hundred years

iâ€™ll laugh with you
until heaven

& i still like you devil or not

i know you are good so so so good
and maybe that could be enough

Marker 1

What I liked about this piece: The confrontation with catholic ideas of sin and punishment and destiny.
Favourite sentence: Shed your uniform you are too good for wax wings
Feedback: I feel unqualified to mark this poem. I'm not sure I can completely comprehend who the speaker is and what the message is. Regardless, I can appreciate the references to catholic fire and brimstone mentality. I plucked out the ridiculousness of that for myself. Perhaps I need to more clearly understand the significance of the imagery. For some reason thoug, I am drawn to it.

Marker 2

What I liked about this piece: The simple yet powerful style
Favourite sentence: you will be the sun for a few seconds
then a star burning forever
Feedback: I really enjoyed this piece. It was a very interesting topic and I really liked the structure used.

Marker 3

What I liked about this piece: The word imagery and some
really stunning lines.
Favourite sentence: I'd rather you be sea foam
and air for a hundred years
Feedback: This is a fascinating read. It has an abstract, metaphysical feel to it which is completely beguiling. I wish it could have been more focused
on the theme...and a bit more explicit about what it is trying to say.
But overall, am excellent poem.