Yes We Can

Jack Green was my idea of a financial wizard.Every scheme he told me about was a winner. We bought shares in BP when everyone said it was a disaster and look at them now!

He told me about Russian Steel conglomerates before the press got hold of them, so I knew he had a gift for information or some secret insider to tip him the wink. He lived high and enjoyed the good things like hard liquor and expensive women. I admit I had my share of the pickings too when I shadowed his choices and sold when he sold.

But two weeks ago,he had the biggest idea of all.

"Sam" he said "This is my dream bet---we'll never get a chance like this in another million years!"
"What's the idea?"
"Ink" he says "Just ink--you know, the stuff you put in your printer."
"Come off it"
"No,I'm deadly --I've a man in the Ukraine who has a lorry load of top stuff and needs to shift it pronto."

I was a bit puzzled because I thought Jack was into shares and the like,not merchandise.
"How come we get an offer like this?" I queried
"It's simple" says he "comes down to who you know and who's got the credit--it's a fair shake."

It was tempting,no cash upfront but pay into a Swiss account on delivery in UK. All we had to do was find a buyer this end and the job was done.

Funny thing, but I knew Sharon's dad had a warehouse in Essex and he dealt in Office Supplies. She's not exactly my missus but next best thing and I know the old man well.
"OOh Sam" she burbles "you can't ask me dad to underwrite the job."

"Yes we can"

So we did. The deal struck him as a blinder since he didn't have to pay a penny before delivery and he could check the goods sharpish.
I told Jack and he was as bright as a button.

"But"I said "We can't check on the load and the driver."

"Yes we can."

So we set off in my Vogue to find our way to Ukraine.
It was a good ways east of Germany and the sat nav was U/S once we passed Slovenia,but we arrived in this dump Kiev at about midnight on the second day.
No Hiltons here nor even a travel Lodge,so we kipped down in the Rover for a few hours.

In the morning I felt a bit gloomy.
"Jack--do you reckon we can find the load in this dump?"

"Yes we can."

So we rang the mobile he had and after one or two tries he spoke to some face with the info about the lorry.

"Here we go" he burbled "Get the motor fired up and we're on our way For once ,the directions were kosher. We found our way to a lorry park about 5 miles outside the town. Standing at the drive in was the biggest man I'd ever seen.He was as wide as a door and he looked about seven feet tall. No city type he.
Jack said "Can we see the merchandise?"

"Yes we can"
said the giant and he led us to a twelve wheeler tucked behind the café. Jumping up on the tail I opened a few boxes. Big relief for me to see Hewlet Pakard on the side of the cartons plus others printed Epson etc. I cut open a few and could see printer cartridges,so I gave Jack the nod and we jumped down.
Kirov the mighty mountain man took us for a meal to celebrate the deal.Camels balls or something similar I reckon,so not appreciated. He wanted we should spend the week end sharing the joys of the war zone he called home.

"Is custom in Ukraine -you no leave now" he begged

"Yes we can" I said and we jumped in the motor and gunned down to the mega truck and set off We followed the mighty truck through the motorways of Europe,mosty blinded by muck or dust thrown up by its enormous wheels.
The driver never stopped until he got to Calais. He either had an iron bladder or a collection of bottles in the back of his cab.We were near spark out by the time we got to the Terminal and I asked Jack if we could get out and get a drink and all the rest.

"Yes we can" he said "that bloke is going nowhere but on to that boat."

So we waited a while then followed the truck as it approached the French Customs.
A blue uniform jumped up and pulled open the tailgate.He was I there for a while and when he got out I could see he was getting stroppy with the driver.
before I could do or say anything the plonker was pointingat us and pushing the officer in our direction.
"Jack" I said "we can't dodge this one ."

"Yes we can"

and he was out of the Vogue in a trice.
Coming round to my side, the cocky French type put his foot against my door and touched his cap.
"Mesewer" he says all smooth and polite "can you show me the documents for this load?"

I said "You've no right to stop me--this is your common Market my son and I've got my rights/ You can't look at my papers

He smiled and a nasty glint crept into his eye

Yes we can" he said.