To Be Elected

Entry by: Godai41

16th April 2015
Election: a Dictionary from the Future

Imagine my surprise. Used to receiving all kinds of information from the past, it astounded me
to find in my computer an election dictionary somehow sent here and now from 500 years into the future. From my reading, it appears from the definitions relating to elections that those appearing after us have learned a lot since our demise.

Of course, I cannot vouch for the definitions reflecting actual practice, but, hmmmm, maybe, who knows? It appears to incorporate examples of definitions from future countries all over the earth and perhaps other planets of the future.

I share it with you in its original, unedited format, without commentary, alphabetically arranged by the kind anonymous sender.

It seems to let us know how election practices have changed since our day. The dictionary follows below.

Alection An election in which only those who received A grades during their Bachelor degree
and graduate study are permitted to run for office.

Be-lection Memorization of Hamlet’s complete to be or not to be soliloquy is required of all aspiring nominees for office.

Celection Often confused with the term collection because it allows the general publicto contribute financially at will and in the amounts they desire to candidates and potential candidates without any rules, controls, or laws over when, where, why, and what they choose to give to those would-be rulers they would like to see elected.

Delection The leading candidates must prove their ability to prepare, yea cook, delectable meals
for all voters for their entire time in office. Voters will be anonymously selected during the delecteds’ time in office to make sure their cooking keeps its standards.

Election The antiquated practice known to have existed several centuries ago in which all the people in many countries took part in regularly scheduled choosing voting for its leaders for a fixed period of time. Apparently the aspiring candidates were allotted a period of time to compete—at the time it was called campaign—to be voted in.

Feelection Those elected have the right to covertly collect “fees” from all citizens. This legislation and practice are carried out to build in corruption to the system itself so citizens and candidates won’t have to waste their time figuring out how to become corrupt

Geelection Candidates must have the innate ability or the training to exhibit surprise at the right moments, for example, on notification that they have won the geelection, that an important piece of legislation they sponsored has succeeded. They must prove this by attending a legislative session and spontaneously stating the word “gee” at least five times during the session.

Helection A he, that is one male candidate, must be nominated for each office up for grabs. Thishelection policy was put in place after no male candidate had been nominated in one country for fifty years in order to rectify this legislative imbalance.

Ilection If a candidate’s speeches show that s/he has used the word “I” more than 40% of any three speeches in a six month period, s/he will be cross-examined by a committee of personal pronoun specialists and offered therapy to control this egotistical tendency.

See Melection below for related information.

Jelection This term apparently grew out of the je, or I, in French, to emphasize the importance
of the individual in any kind of election. In other words, a jelection reaffirms that the individual, single human being, has value. Jelections have often been extremely jubilant, upbeat events.

Keylection The top two elected leaders at not time can opt to house themselves in certain buildings
for the entire time of their terms and maintain the sole keys to those buildings. Free, daily keyless access to all buildings in which the two top leaders work most of their days must be maintained.

Lelection A utopian idea that one day a Lelection will arrive, an election to end all elections because that election will stand as the perfect government to treasure for eternity and never to be questioned, altered, or erased.

Melection If a candidate’s speeches show that s/he has used the word “me” more than 40% of any three speeches in a six month period, s/he will be cross-examined by a committee of personal pronoun specialists and offered therapy to control this egotistical tendency.

Nelection Elections in which voters all decide together that they agree to say no to all candidates.
The ne represents the power of the no word, that no candidate earned the right to be elected. The nelection affirms the spirit of those who find no route, no answer, no person integral to a government they can respect.

Pelection A conservative group opted to include this word in the dictionary because they resented the multitude of words relating to and perhaps replacing election. They honored this word because in it they could recall and honor the original Presidential elections held in some countries in earlier times. Now that the notion of the presidency itself has become obsolete, they sought a word to remember it.

Qelection Elections in which no candidate may make a speech at any time during the campaign.
Rather, candidates may submit only questions for the public to consider, thus Q-election, an election composed totally of questions, not of opinions or answers.

Re-election This holdover from past practices has been prohibited. Until the universal political tendency to consider oneself a perfect leader who should be elected again and again can be cured, this word and practice have been banned from usage.

Se-election This word represents the situations in which the people due to some actions, personal mishaps or tragedies, or even catastrophes occurring in the society as a whole must request or even demand a Se-election, a special election to replace a person who can no longer keep the office s/he had held.

Tealection A special election in which nominees are selected solely based upon their ability to prove beyond a doubt their expertise at preparing tea and distinguishing fine tea from inferior versions.

Ulection The title given to the first election in one venue after a harried epoch in which those elected all hailed from one neighborhood in one city and ruled for nearly fifty years unchallenged. The first election after this dynasty’s defeat was named “ulection” to symbolize the u, that is, the voters themselves, not the candidates.

Vlection In a country of intensely loving people this word took root. Related etymologically to St. Valentines day, the people who “saved” this word and converted it to an election term declared that love rests at the root of all votes for any leader. In other words, they would assert, love finds its true leaders.

Welection Probably an ancient word, a Welection refers to the practice of saying that those already in power, the “we” of the government, should remain in power, and the creators of this term hoped, yes even assumed, that the people should elect themselves again and again forever and ever.

Ylection An election in which the candidates are so popular, so revered, and so desired by every person inhabiting the region in which they are up for election that the only vote allowed in the election is y, signifying, yes, yes, and even more yes. Nays are not permitted in a Ylection.

Zlection Elections in which only people whose family names begin with Z are allowed to vote or to hold office. This originates from the founders of countries in one region of the world, all of whom had family names beginning with Z. Ecstatic with their countries, leaders, and all aspects of their lives, they assumed that the value of their existence stemmed solely from the letter Z at the start of their family names. Thus, they originated the term Zlection.

Note: Apparently the dictionary has been translated into various languages existent at this future time, including evolved versions of the Korean, Chinese, Urdu, Hindi, Danish, and abundant other languages still extant.