The Greater Good

'Please dear Lord don't take it away, I want this more than anything.'
Sarah lies there praying with all of her being that she does not lose the pregnancy that she has come to love over the past few weeks. Even though it was not something she had planned or considered it is something that she feels will help make everything right again.

You see one year ago, almost to the day, Sarah experienced something that would shake her to her core. Not something that she was ever insusceptible to as during her teenage years she had witnessed and contributed to many fights but this one was different, this one threatened to take away something she fought an internal battle to create. From that moment on her reality changed and would never be the same. This realisation coupled with the physical brutality she witnessed in her own home that night led her to withdraw further from her family and society as a whole. This girl who was once a vibrant go getter was now broken and all she could do to fix herself was to follow her instinct and take each day at a time. Each one of those 365 days since she has been in survival mode, dealing with post traumatic shock the best that she can for the sake of her two sons and her partner who has physically healed since that night but still carried deep wounds and vengeance.
So that is why she doesn't want this pregnancy to miscarry. Since they found out it has brought hope and love back when all seem to have sipped into a mundane daily grind.
Then it happened, the bleeding got worse and the wail from Sarah triggered a heroic response from the man she has begun to love again.
"Are you ok?" he says knocking on the bathroom door.
All that can be heard is a muffled cry from behind the door.
"Sarah please answer me or I will have to break the door down"
The door slowly opens and Sarah appears with red eyes "It's gone" she declares and the flood gates of tears open up.
"Are you sure?"
"I think so" she blubbers.
He holds her tight for a time and then asks "What do we do now?"
"I will phone the hospital" she says whilst ringing them on her mobile phone.
"So what did they say?" her concerned partner asks.
"We need to go for a scan to see what has happened"

Leaving the hospital they both look dazed. With their young son in tow they get into their car.
"But how can it be?" Jake asks.
"You heard them, it is still there, you seen the heart beating too, its like a miracle."
"Now love you head what they said, we are not out of the woods yet"
"I know but there is hope"
"Yes there is hope" he replies, internally praying with all of his faith.

They arrive home and Sarah takes to her bed.
"Don't worry about anything love I will sort it and call out if you need anything"
There is a knock at the door. It is Claire, Sarah's sister. Their bond has been strained over the past year but out of all of her family they have tried the hardest to keep connected.
When Sarah sees her she feels an overwhelming feeling of love.
Her sister runs to her side with tears in her eyes "Oh I am so sorry" and she hugs her tight.
"I have been praying to granny asking her to save it"
"Oh I so hope that it will be ok sis"
Then Sarah feels a pop and a gush. At that moment she knows that it is over. Her heart sinks and as the knowing sinks in she is comforted by her sister and their bond strengthens.

Later that day after another visit to the hospital confirms the loss the grieving begins. The tears held back over the past year amalgamate with those of the little angel she has just lost and she cries for days. It cleanses her from pent up emotions and helps her to move forward in a renewed vision for her future. A future that she had not contemplated a few weeks ago as she had become accustomed to residing in survival mode.

Lost bonds begin to be rebuilt as she allows her mum and dad to re enter her life and support her during her grief. They too could connect with her loss as they had experienced it themselves and that moment when her dad, a very strong man, places his arm around her shoulder and says "It may not seem like it now love but you will see that it all happened for your greater good and we would not have had you if we had not lost our first"
This comment has stayed with her. Her dad, who rarely shared emotion connected with her on a level that has helped her shift back onto a path filled with hope and prospects.

Now 7 years later and so much has happened since that moment in time. Because of the miscarriage her partner proposed and they were married 4 months later. At the time of the wedding she was 3 months pregnant with her first daughter and by the end of the year they had moved to Australia where they began a dream life with their growing family. Now complete and blessed with 2 boys and 4 girls Sarah lives her dream life filled with love, hope, joy and lots of children.

She knows that it was due to her grief that she found the strength to move forward into an amazing future filled with adventure and her light shines bright again. Because of her grief she authored a novel in the hope of helping others through their loss and through this she has found her true purpose of creating a publishing company called Serenity Press which helps share inspiring stories and the love of children and books with the world.

Everything aligned when she allowed it to and when she realised that her challenges happened for her greater good.